


Bath, Bed, and Beyond

by Anonymous



Category: You (TV 2018)
Genre: Double Vaginal Penetration, F/M, Flirting, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Slow Burn, Spitroasting, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex, i don’t support sleeping with serial killers unless it’s a hit it and quit it sitch, i’m sexually attracted to that hotel room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:08:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It’s the slow burn threesome of your (my) dreams! Joe, Forty, and you, locked in a hotel room to write a script. What else are you gonna do but get both dicks at once?A smutty slow burn in three chapters.
Relationships: Joe Goldberg/Forty Quinn, Joe Goldberg/Forty Quinn/Original Female Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 58
Collections: Anonymous





	1. The Job

**Author's Note:**

> if this flops i'll throw myself into a dumpster i stg 🤣

Being locked in a hotel room with two sexually ambiguous screenwriter bros wasn’t what I expected for my first job out of film school.

I’m sitting in an upscale art deco hotel room, reviewing a mediocre script by a wannabe Hollywood bro. The guy who hired me, who has a name that could just as easily be a reference to either tennis or malt liquor, is standing at the whiteboard with his…. friend? Producer? Employee? Boyfriend?

Forty, (is that name given or chosen?) is talking animatedly to the other man. “So then, we close on Doctor Nicky, and it’s a wrap. I’m thinking we fucken nailed it, sport!”

The other guy - his writing partner, maybe? - he’d introduced himself as Will but Forty keeps calling him Joe. He’s tall with dark hair and a brooding air. The guys are standing very close together. Suspiciously close platonic friends? A budding bromance or something more? They’re both very good looking. Great bone structure. Even in L.A, where you can’t spit without hitting a wannabe model or actor, these guys stood out. 

When he’d seen me arrive, Will/Joe had hissed at Forty “What is she doing here?” Alright, sorry guys, didn’t mean to break up your fancy hotel bro-down. Forty pressed his hands against Joe’s shoulders, trying to calm him down. “Chill, bro, it’s cool. I hired her as our writers’ assistant! She just graduated from UC Berkeley Film School. It’s gonna be great, you’ll see! Her work is really good.”

Once Forty managed to calm Joe down and convince him of my right to be here, they got back to work. Even now, watching them together at the whiteboard, I could still see it, like an electrical current running between the two. They were easy, comfortable with each other, casually affectionate at the right times. I liked it, even though I couldn’t figure out what their deal was. There were worse people to be trapped in a hotel room with, that’s for sure. 

Joe seems like a bit of an enigma. He’s quiet, reserved, the opposite of Forty. It’s hard to tell why the two hang out at all. But what am I doing, judging why they’re here? I could ask the same of myself. After graduating from film school a few months ago, I found out firsthand just how hard it is to find a job in this town. But sometimes, after months of unemployment, you end up answering the right craigslist ad. Pay’s good at least. Good enough to justify the fact that there’s a Russian mafia thug outside the door to keep the two writers on task. At least I can escape to my own room across the hall whenever I want. Hey, if I lose motivation to write, I can always go across the hall and re-count the wad of cash Forty had passed me, to remind myself why I’m even in this situation. There’s another wad waiting for me when I finish the job.

I was supposed to be editing a block of dialogue, but I found my eyes repeatedly drifting up to the two guys. No. Gotta keep it professional and get this dumpster fire of a script edited into shape. 

In spite of myself, I look up again. Forty’s hand is on Joe’s lower back as he points to something on the whiteboard. A flash of an image comes to me, of Forty in bed with Joe, and me, at the same time. My face reddens and I look back at my laptop, hoping they’re too caught up in their work to notice me staring at them. Work. Gotta focus. 

Joe places his hand on Forty’s shoulder. “Forty, it’s good work. You nailed it, man.” The lie is so boldfaced that I can’t prevent an involuntary snort from escaping my mouth. Self control has never been my strong suit. 

“What’s that, writer's assistant? Did you have something to add?” Forty is snarky, borderline sassy. 

“I have a name, you know,” I retort. “And yeah, here’s the problem. Your script needs a full rewrite. It’s clear you don’t know how to write female characters. Who is Beck? What are her motivations? I’m not getting any of it from this script." Whoops. Subtlety has never been my strong suit either. 

Joe’s face freezes, like he’s trying to keep something in. Forty’s face glazes over with a thousand yard stare. 

“So you’re telling me… that my script… that I need to turn over to an investor tomorrow… needs a full rewrite.”

“Well yes, but I think it’s totally do-able. You’ve got great source material to work with. If we can rewrite Beck into a real character, I think we’ll really have something."

“I have to get out of here.” Forty runs to the window and throws it open. Without hesitating, he steps up on the ledge and unceremoniously steps off. Joe looks at me in pure shock. What just happened? Did I take a job with a guy who just killed himself? Figures he’d pick the only hotel ever to have windows that open. 

Joe rushes over to the window, with me a step behind. Fearing the worst, we look out. Oh. Forty is climbing out a dumpster. He’s fine. 

Joe turns to me. “I’m going after him. I have to get him to finish this script tonight. It’s important!”

“Joe, stop —“ too late. He’s already out the window and and in the dumpster. 

“Wait,” I call, “stay there, I’ll come help you!” But fuck jumping into that dumpster. I’ll take the stairs like a civilized person. L.A. writers, man. 

In the hall, Dimitri eyes me suspiciously. “Is all good?” he asks. 

I put on my best upbeat face. “Of course, all good here! Just making a Starbucks run!” I quickly head for the stairs to avoid any further KGB questioning. 

I find Joe in the alley. I’m almost surprised to see that he waited. He’d jumped out with such an air of determination, I half expected to find him already gone off to wherever Forty went. 

Something about seeing Joe there, in the dark alley, gives me pause. There’s something about him. He’s attractive of course, but it’s more than that. He has a smoldering intensity that’s at once seductive and also raises the hackles on the back of my neck. Being alone with him in an alley is at once both frightening and arousing. The feelings swim around and mingle, sending a rush of warmth downwards. But he barely spares me a glance. Plus, with the way these two guys have been eye fucking each other, I’m not sure if I’d have a chance anyway.

“Let’s check the bar down the street. I bet that’s where we’ll find him” he says. 


	2. The Bar

With a few drinks in him, and maybe a few other substances, Forty has cheered up remarkably well by the time we find him in the sixth bar we check.

“You!” he shouts when he sees us, “I am SO glad to see you!” He clasps my hands between his. “You are SO right. My script wasn’t good. I have no idea how to write female characters. I want you to help me. It’ll be a co-writing credit. What do you say?”

This is a little sudden, but… “Yes. I’ll do it. I would be delighted.” Gotta follow the money. 

“It’s settled then! Drinks all around!” Forty motions to the bartender. “C’mon. There’s a booth at the back of the bar.”

“Hey buddy, you’ve gotta settle up here first.” The bartender looks like he doesn’t trust Forty. Maybe they’ve met before. 

“Fiiiiiiine.” Forty rolls his eyes and pulls out a massive roll of bills. He drops a couple on the bar. “Keep the change. Asshole.” Forty grabs my arm and Joe’s and saunters us to the booth at the back. 

“Why do you have so much cash on you?” I ask.

“Oh, you know. The best types of partying are cash-only. And cash is fun. It’s such a '90s throwback to be carrying cash these days.” He opens his hand to reveal the bullet of cocaine he’s been palming. “Hey, you want a bump?”

“Look, here’s why cash is fun. Here’s a bonus for you, writer’s assistant – I mean co-writer.” He peels off a couple bills and delicately slips them straight down the front of my top. It would be repulsive behavior if he wasn’t so goddamn charming. Well, two can play that game. 

“Keep it for now,” I grab him by the belt and pull him towards me, then tuck the bill down the front of his pants. “You can pay me after we get this script done. Or maybe you should wait until we premier at Sundance.” Forty seems like someone who responds well to flattery.

“Oooh, I like your style.” Forty looks into my eyes like he’s appraising me. “I think we’re going to have a lot of fun working together, don’t you, Joe?"

Joe looks like he’s just going along for the ride. How long has this guy been putting up with Forty’s nonsense? Long enough to get comfortable agreeing to his harebrained ideas, apparently. After a moment, he seems to pull himself together. “Definitely. But I think we should get back to writing soon if we want to get it wrapped up tonight."

Forty looks at Joe, then over to me. “My friend here looks like he needs to be cheered up.” His rings flash as he pulls out his roll of cash and waggles it in his hand. "I’ll give you $500 if you kiss him.” 

I look over at Joe. “I’m game if you are.”

Joe smiles in a resigned way. Just going along with another Forty scheme. He leans in and places his hand on my face, then kisses me. He’s a good kisser, slow and passionate, not in a rush at all despite the pressure Forty put on him. 

I pull away and look to my left at Forty. He’s been watching us like he wants to eat us with his eyes, biting his lip. “Hey,” he says to me in a low voice, then pulls me in for a kiss. He’s rougher than Joe, more passionate. Where Joe is cool and controlled, Forty is all emotions bubbling to the surface, and right now he’s projecting pure raw sexual energy. The two of them together, it’s like drinking a jalapeño margarita, cold and spicy at the same time, and incredibly intoxicating. 

As I kiss Forty, I grab Joe’s hand and place it on my thigh. I’m not sure how he’ll react, but I get what I’m looking for: he squeezes my leg and slowly moves his hand upwards a few inches. Joe’s staring at us with an intensity I didn’t expect to be on the receiving end of. The feeling is electric. I turn back and kiss him too. He’s more passionate now and I can see that he’s looking at Forty as he’s kissing me, watching the other man’s reaction. 

“You guys have good energy together,” I tell them.

“It must be all the green juice we’ve been drinking.” Forty winks, “It really activates your tantric energy.”

Forty looks very pleased with himself at orchestrating this situation. I’m pleased too, more than pleased. Could this kissing turn into something more? I sure hope so, and judging from the energy pouring off Forty, he does as well. 

I excuse myself to the bathroom for a moment. I came here planning to write, not have a threesome, and I have something I have to take care of before this goes any further. The panties I have on today are… not cute. They may or may not have a period stain on them. In the bathroom stall I take them off and stuff them into the tiny sanitary item trash bin. They’re soaked through already anyway. Hey – no guy has ever complained to find a girl without panties. 

I slide back into the booth. Forty and Joe have been discussing something closely. What’s their deal? Have they already fucked? Will this be the first time?

“Come on,” Joe says “Let’s go back to the hotel. This has been fun, but we need to write.”

Forty and I share a look. Oh sure, let’s pretend we’re going to get anything done when we get back. 

“Very bad writers!” Dimitri says when he sees us. He looks like he wants to hit someone, but my presence, with both guys’ arms around me, stops him. He settles for shaking his head in disgust. “Go write!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this chapter from inside the dumpster i threw myself into two days ago

“You want to get back in the zone? Well I know the just the thing to get the creative energy flowing again." Forty strides into the bathroom and turns on the tap in the clawfoot tub. “We have to take a bath.”

Okay, sure, Forty. I’m sure that’s the reason.

“Hey, have you guys seen The Dreamers? It’ll be just like that one scene... but like without the twincest obviously since Love isn’t here. You know, it’s not a bad idea to roleplay a critically acclaimed. As part of the writing process.”

“Forty…” Joe says warningly. I can’t let this stick-in-the-mud guy be the cockblock of the evening, not after everything that happened at the bar.

“I’m game,” I say, and lift my top off over my head. Both guys stop and stare at me.

“Now,” Forty says, “that’s what I’m talking about. I knew you were a good hire.”

Both guys are staring at me. I like having both of them so enthralled like this. Forty’s hand drifts up to cup my left breast. He moves closer and lightly slides his hands along the curve of my back, then leans in to kiss me. “C’mon Joe, don’t get all lame on me now, old sport.” he says to Joe with a smile. I help Forty to lift his shirt over his head. Nor surprise, he looks good without it.

Joe looks like he still needs a little encouragement, so I grab his hand and pull him towards me, placing it on my right breast. Forty’s hands are still on me, but they’ve moved lower to cup my ass cheeks.

“Yeah girl, give me that organic gluten free cake,” he says, squeezing my ass.

Forty has a look of pure delight when he slips a hand under my skirt and feels that I don’t have anything on underneath. Soon my skirt is on the floor and I’m naked in front of them. Joe comes up behind me, pressing in close. He’s lost his shirt somewhere along the way. His pants are still on and I can feel his cock hard through his jeans as he grabs my hips and pulls me towards him. He grinds against my ass and kisses my neck.

I reach towards Forty in front of me. I can see that he’s hard too, and I unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants to free his cock. He gasps as I circle my hand around it and pull it out. The heat coming from his body is like a fire.

Both their pants gone, both men press up against me again. Their cocks slip into the space between my thighs, lightly rubbing against my pussy, as well as each other. I slip a hand down to hold them in place and rock my hips back and forth, grinding against both their cocks, both their hips, at the same time. Everything is very slippery. Judging from the way they’re both breathing hard, it’s feeling as good for them as it is for me.

I feel a need growing inside me to have both their cocks in me.

“Fuck me now” I tell Joe. He scoops me up and carries me easily over to the bed and tosses me lightly down.

He slides inside me, thrusting, fast but not in a hurry. Fast and controlled, looking into my eyes as he pounds me, pressing me down into the mattress. He pulls out and moves up, straddling my face so he can slide his cock into my mouth. I feel Forty come up and spread my legs open, his hands parting and caressing my thighs and between my legs before sliding his cock inside me. I wrap my hand around the base of Joe's cock as I suck it. He stays in place straddling me and lets me do the work, moving my head back and forth and caressing his balls with my other hand. Suddenly Forty begins to increase his rhythm between my legs and it gets harder to focus on doing anything at all. I stop trying to suck Joe’s cock, but I leave it in my mouth as I moan.

Forty fucks me hard and rhythmically then pulls out. “I’m getting jealous” he says and moves so he’s up near my head as well. I turn my head to the side and take him into my mouth and slide my tongue over his length. Joe has moved down a little and his now wet cock is between my breasts. He pushes them together and slides his dick back and forth slowly while gently rubbing my nipples with his thumbs. I can feel myself getting wet all over again from being touched like this.

“Does this still count as an Eiffel Tower if we high five now?” Forty says. But instead of a high five, he wraps his fingers through Joe's, then places his hand on the back of Joe's neck. He brings Joe in and kisses him deeply.

After they make out for a bit, Forty lays down on his back on the bed and pulls me towards him, and over him, so I’m straddling his face. He begins to use his tongue on me. Joe moves behind me, and begins to rub his cock around the entrance to my pussy. It feels like heaven, like I could almost come from just the feel of Forty’s tongue on me at the same time as his cock on the outside.

“Please” I manage to get out “please get your cock in me.” The tease is too much to take. And finally, he does, sliding forcefully into me, then moving slowly but firmly back and forth. And then he gets the motion just right and it brings me over the edge and I come, on Forty's mouth and Joe's cock at the same time. Joe keeps fucking through my orgasm. When I finish, feeling newly sensitive, I move away from them and Joe is left, still straddling Forty who takes the chance to slide his hand around the other man's cock. He pauses to judge Joe's reaction then opens his mouth and takes Joe in, sucking his cock clean of my juices.

He takes it out to tell him, “You’ve got a beautiful cock, dude. It feels great in my mouth."

After sucking Joe’s cock for a bit, Forty turns to me and kisses me. “I need to be inside you again” he tells me. Laying on his back with me riding him, he slides in and fucks me slowly. I feel relaxed from my orgasm, a little zoned out but my sensitivity has dropped so the fucking feels good again, slow and sensual. Joe comes up behind me, turning my head to kiss me as he plays with my nipples and runs his hands over my body as I fuck Forty. Joe presses close against me, his cock again sliding between my legs, next to Forty’s currently buried dick. He begins to rub it around, tracing the circumference of the cock inside me, rubbing around the sides of my pussy. I can feel what he’s going for and I push my hips back towards him to help him. It’s a tight fit but he slowly manages to get his cock into my pussy alongside Forty’s.

“That’s tight as fuck, bro,” Forty manages to gasp. He can say whatever he wants as long as it keeps feeling this good. Feeling both guys inside me and outside me at once is overwhelming in the best way possible. They start to get into a rhythm, and I can feel both cocks sliding in and out of me at the same time, in sync. Forty looks blissed out, lost in the sensation of fucking while also feeling Joe’s cock rubbing against his at the same time. Two cocks, where only one is supposed to be – it feels dangerous, and that’s why it feels so good. I can never have sex with just one man at a time ever again, not after tasting this buffet of cocks.

I can see that they’re both reaching their peak, and they speed up, and come inside me, Forty first, and then Joe almost immediately after. Exhausted, we all flop down onto the bed. Forty gently runs his finger through the mixed fluids spilling out of me and raises it to his lips. For once he’s too tired out to say anything ridiculous.

….

I look at them, both asleep on the bed. They’re almost cuddling but not quite, with Forty’s head and leg resting against Joe. It’s cute. I pull the sheet up over them and kiss them both on the cheek. They don’t even wake up.

I quietly slip back into my clothes. The thing about craigslist is, you can never be too careful. That’s why I always use a fake name there. You could meet anyone anyone on craigslist – sex perverts, druggies, serial killers…

I reach down into Forty’s bomber jacket and pull out the roll of cash.

Even thieves.

I walk out past Dimitri and into the hot L.A. night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo everyone’s a sociopath in this show, hope you didn’t think our protagonist would be any different! 
> 
> 1 kudos = 1 prayer for anyone who wants it to get dvp’d in 2020


End file.
